Impossible origins
by Millie 1985
Summary: Clara Oswald was born as ordinary as any other human, wasn't she? The Doctor may have solved the mystery of the woman twice dead but there is yet more for both him and Clara to discover. What secrets lie in the impossible girl's past and why dose River know all of them.
1. Chapter 1

**Impossible origins **

**Summary:** Clara Oswald born as ordinary as any other human, wasn't she? The Doctor may have solved the mystery of the woman twice dead but there is yet more for both him and Clara to discover. What secrets lie in the impossible girl's past and why dose River know all of them.

**AN:** this story has been rattling around my head for a long time and has had so many different incarnations that my dear brother Lander is sick of hearing it. It is set after **The name of the Doctor** but before the **The time of the Doctor**. I hope to complete this story pretty quickly seen as I have almost two note books full of it but it does keep altering itself as I go along so I give you no promises.

**Chapter 1 **

**The letter among the books.**

Clara Oswald loved books more than most people could possibly understand. When her mother had died she had retreated into worlds of adventure and fantasy. In her books Clara had felt safe, they had bought her more solace than any of her well meaning friends could.

So it made sense that it was books she ran to after the events of Trenzalore. Clara had died thousands of times in one day and somehow she had survived the whole ordeal physically unscathed but emotionally she had become a mess. She knew the Doctor wanted to help her but she found that stability was what she was longing for and while the Doctor was many things, stable wasn't one of them.

The TADRIS library held more books than Clara had ever believed existed and in the first days of her recovery it felt like the only safe place in the whole universe.

Whenever an unwanted memory from one of her many past lives tried to make its self known Clara would just throw herself deeper into the book she was reading and the world around her would fade away, memory and all.

The Doctor tried to help her he really did but he was no real match for the TARDIS and her many books. The sentient ship that had so disliked Clara previously now treated her as if she were its own child. She would even keep her precious thief from seeing his impossible girl if she felt that was what was best for her.

Clara still found it hard to believe that the TARDIS had actually locked the Doctor out on occasion just so she could cry in peace but his constant moaning about it was proof that it had happened.

Slowly Clara began to trust the ship as much as she trusted the mad man the piloted it. It was that trust that led her to deepest, darkest corner of the library. She had cautiously followed the brightly lit tiles on the ships floor until she could go no further; she had finally reached the library's end. There she found the hall of unpublished manuscripts and unbelievably a letter addressed to her.

On a huge wooden desk sat a simple envelope with her name scrawled across it and beside it lay an unbound book just waiting to be read. Both were yellowed with age but it was clear they were meant for her, tentatively Clara settled herself on the plush chair that had been tucked in under the desk and opened the letter.

As she read the words before her Clara couldn't help but wonder if this was how the heroines from her books felt at the beginning of their stories. A strange mixture of fear and excitement lodged themselves in the pit of her stomach and as much as she wanted to run away, she didn't think she could.

_My dearest Clara._

_Hello you brave girl. My name is River song, I am sure we have met at least once by this point in your time line and I can only hope you remember it. _

_I know you have not long returned from Trenzalore, I can only imagine what an ordeal the last few days have been for you and I understand that you just want to forget everything that has happened but you can't, at least not yet. I have to ask you to relive one of your pasts. _

_Just one shouldn't be too hard for you, at least not if you are as clever as the Doctor believes you to be. I can't tell you which life of the many you have lived I need you to remember, you have to figure that out for yourself but I can help you._

_Beside this letter you will find a manuscript to most people it would be nothing more than a story but for you it is a map. It will lead you to the life you are looking for._

_I know the thought of revising one of your lives must scare you, but I assure you, you can do this and you will be glad you did. The TARDIS would not have allowed to find this letter if you were not ready._

_She has always liked you, you know. She always knew your journey with the Doctor would lead you into terrible danger, she knew you would give your life for him and she did all she could to save you. She even tired to scare you off by making you believe she disliked you but she underestimated just how stubborn you were Clara Oswald and here you are. The impossible girl, the companion who died a thousand times for the Doctor yet somehow lived to tell the tale. One journey has ended but the time has come for another to begin. The manuscript will tell you all you need to know. _

_I am sorry for asking this of you Clara but please know that it is as much for your benefit as it is the Doctors, the universe owes you a debt impossible girl and I think it is time both of you collected._

_Good luck and happy reading._

_Professor River Song._

Clara knew that time travel sometimes confused things, such as relationships. The Doctor had explained about him and River and how nothing had ever happened in chronological order for them, but she had never thought that something like that would happen to her.

The Doctor came for her every Wednesday, he was always the same man that had dropped her off the week before and as far as she knew they were always on the same page time line wise. So she never had to deal with much confusion and truthfully she had never expected she would have to. She was struggling to comprehend how was this possible.

She hadn't even met River until Madame Vastra's conference call and the woman that Clara had subsequently come to know was nothing more than a computer program as far as she could tell. An incredibly intelligent, sentient computer program with a very sad story to tell but a computer program none the less.

She couldn't have written this letter, it just wasn't possible. How could she have gotten it onto the TARDIS for one thing and how could it have gotten so old so fast for another?

Unless one day she would meet a still living River and tell her the story of Trenzalore and the strange letter she had found shortly after, which would lead River to write the letter then jump back in time hundreds of years to plant it and the book for Clara to find in the first place. Was that even a plausible theory?

Clara suddenly understood why The Doctor described some situations as being a wibbly wobbly timey wimey thing, because just trying to understand it yourself made your head spin so how could you ever explain it to someone else.

"Is this real?" Clara wondered aloud, she wanted to believe it was because she didn't like to think that an imposter could have gotten on to the TARDIS to deliver it but at the same time it seemed to improbable to be real. "This can't actually be happening" she finally decided putting the letter down and getting up to leave.

"Of course it's real" said a very familiar voice from behind her. Clara spun on her heel and came face to face with herself. She looked tired and slightly dishevelled but the girl before her was defiantly her; she was wearing the same cloths and everything.

"Is this you?" Clara yelled up towards the TARDIS's distant ceiling "Is this that interface thing again?"

"Yes and no" the Clara who stood opposite her answered "yes the snog box bought me here no I'm not that interface thing" she explained "I'm you; at least I was however long ago I was that I was here".

"You can't remember how long ago it was when you came into the bowels of the TARDIS library and found a letter from a ghost waiting for you?" Clara asked warily.

"No" the girl shot back "and neither will you when you're the one standing here. Now sit yourself down and start reading" she demanded pointing at the chair that Clara had just vacated.

Clara was seriously beginning to doubt that the woman who stood before her was really her future self because surely she would have more sense than to try and order herself around. Clara Oswald did not take kindly to orders.

"I know what you are thinking" the future Clara said folding her arms across her chest "yes, I'm bossy deal with it the Doctor has to often enough and we don't have time for me to explain everything to you-I mean me-oh you know what I mean, just read it" she snapped pointing to the book that still lay on the desk.

Clara sat down and picked up the book with an over exaggerated sigh "happy now?" she asked her double sarcastically.

"Actually yes" the other Clara shot back "this won't be easy" she said suddenly sounding sympathetic "but it will be worth it" she promised before disappearing from sight.

"Wait, what will be worth it?" Clara yelled into the empty air around her. She couldn't believe she would just vanish like that, not without giving herself some answers.

"What am I letting myself in for?" Clara muttered as gave up on her future self returning and slowly opened the book that lay in her lap. She had only read the first few words when her own voice echoed around her one more time. Apparently Clara Oswald always got the last word even against herself not that this particular last word was any help to her at all.

"Spoilers".

_Thanks for reading, let me know what you think_

_Millie xXx_


	2. Chapter 2

**Impossible origins **

**Summary:** Clara Oswald was born as ordinary as any other human, wasn't she? The Doctor may have solved the mystery of the woman twice dead but there is yet more for both him and Clara to discover. What secrets lie in Clara's past and why dose River know all of them.

**Chapter 2**

**We are all stories in the end**

Clara didn't know what she was expecting to find between the covers of the book River had sent her, a fairytale had never occurred to her but that was what she got.

The story was a fantasized version of the Doctors travels with his last companions, the Ponds. They had all been given appropriately fantastical alter egos but it was clear who they were meant to be. Particularly if you have read the TARDIS files on them, which Clara had.

The Doctor had been cast as a powerful but slightly mad Wizard who travelled around in his magical box that had a mind of its own and could go anywhere and everywhere.

Amy Pond -the girl who waited- had become princess Patience a brave but lonely little girl who grew into an amazingly strong woman. She faced every fear she had ever had and came out the other side knowing who she was and what she wanted from life. Most importantly she learnt she could live quite happily without adventure but love was another story all together.

Rory Williams was renamed Roman, fitting seen as he was also known as the last centurion. Roman was a genuinely good man who loved Patience more than life itself. During his travels with the Wizard Roman proved his loyalty and found his courage. In Clara's eyes Roman was the true hero of the story.

Clara found the book enthralling; she rooted for the three heroes at every opportunity (even though she knew how most of the adventures ended), her heart ached each time Patience and Roman lost each other and she rejoiced when they were reunited. She could not contain her sobs when the couple lost their baby daughter Aqua.

The infant was taken by a wicked witch who intended to use her to one day kill the Wizard. As the heroes raced to save the tiny girl Clara's heart broke, not just for them but also for the child, she knew they wouldn't make it in time and that hurt her more than she though it should.

Clara knew that River Song had lived an amazing life and she seemed to have loved it but she could not stop wishing things had been different, not just for Rivers sake but her parents and the Doctor as well.

The story became a little more jovial when it was revealed that the mysterious Professor Chime who had helped the travellers on a number of occasions was in fact an all grown up Aqua. Clara found herself laughing aloud at both Aqua's antics and her parent's reactions to them. On the whole Roman and Patience handled having a daughter old enough to be their mother pretty well and Aqua's teasing of the Wizard was hilarious.

Clara had almost forgotten that the events she was reading about had really happened. she could have quite happily have lost herself in the adventures of the Wizard and his companions but there was a nagging sadness at the back of her mind that constantly reminded her the story would not have a happy ending, at least not completely.

The Wizard would have to lose Patience and Roman eventually because the Doctor had lost his Ponds. As much as Clara wished the three of them could have remained together (four if you counted River who tended to come and go as she pleased) she had to admit that if Amy and Rory were still aboard the TARDIS she would probably have never had the chance to travel with the Doctor.

When first Roman then Patience were ripped from the Wizards life Clara cried even harder that she had over Aqua. She expected the story to follow the Wizard after the loss of the couple, but she should have realized that it wasn't the Wizards story she had been reading, it was Patience and Roman's.

The book continued to follow their story after they parted ways with the Wizard. Clara was both relived and surprised to find that the couple loved their life in the past even if it lacked the adventure that had become the norm with the Wizard.

Then came the most joyous news of the whole story. Patience who thought she had been rendered barren by Aqua's birth discovered she was pregnant. The book explained what Patience herself could not; the child she was carrying was a final gift from the Wizards magic box to his most trusted friends.

She had transmitted a spark of life into Patience. A spark that would lie dormant until the time and conditions were right for it to grow into a child.

Clara was sure that this must be the end of the tale. The Ponds who had been through so much were about to get their happily ever after but sadly there was one more page and the story did not end as Clara had hoped.

_Soon a daughter was born to the beautiful Patience and her brave Roman. She bought them more joy than they could ever have hoped for and while the girl would never replace Aqua that didn't mean she was loved any less than her sister. _

_They named the child Clara Oswin. Clara was Roman's choice because he felt its classical beauty matched his daughter well and Patience chose Oswin in honour of a fallen hero. _

_Oswin had been a spirited girl that the couple had met on their travels. She had been bright, funny and brave. She had also given her life to save them and the Wizard. Patience had always felt Oswin should be honoured in some way and what could be better than giving her name to the child who could not have existed without her sacrifice._

_Clara Oswin grew to be all her parents hoped she could be, she was intelligent, courageous, witty and strong willed but most important of all she was happy. Clara was Roman and Patience's happy ending but sadly happy endings don't always last forever._

_Clara had more in common with her big sister and her name sake than anyone could ever have dreamed. She was destined to save the Wizard and just like Aqua and Oswin before her she would lose her life in the process._

_So ends the tale of Patience, Roman and their beloved daughters Aqua and Clara._

"Oh no" Clara gasped in shock "no, no, no, no, no" she chanted as if her will alone could change the writing on the page before her.

"That's not fair" she yelled at the TARDIS as soon as her shock had passed. "You can't give them one of my echo's as their child, you know what that means for them, sooner or later she is going to die for the Doctor and they will have lost yet another daughter" the small woman couldn't help but rant at the sentient ship

"How could you do that to them" she demanded when she finally calmed herself down.

The TARDIS made a soft low hum which to Clara sounded sympathetic. She may not have been able to understand the ship very well before but she was pretty sure she knew what that noise meant

"You didn't know the child you gave them would be one of my echo's" she realized sadly "she was meant to be a fresh start for them not another ending" she surmised. The TARDIS's rapidly flashing lights told her she was right.

"OK" Clara said forcefully pushing her sadness aside "so how do we fix this?" she asked the ship. "Oh don't you try and tell me it can't be fixed" she persisted when the ship remained silent "because River would never have sent me the book and letter if there was nothing we can do to save her sister" she said explaining the obvious.

Despite Clara's attempt to be persuasive the TARDIS still did not respond "Oh come on" the impossible girl sighed "I get it OK, I'm meant to do this by myself, I should be able to remember what happened to her so that I can stop it but I can't. The only memory's I have of Amy and Rory are Oswin's, that's it, I don't know why I can't remember that echoes life but I don't" she explained getting more and more frustrated with the TARDIS.

Finally she could take the ships silence no more "If you want the Ponds daughter saved then **you-have-to-help-me!" **she practically screamed up at the library's ceiling.

The TARDIS didn't make a sound nor did her lights flash but she still gave Clara an answer. There was a small thump from the main area of the library and the girl didn't hesitate before racing towards it.

There in the middle of one of the walk ways lay yet another book. This one was smaller and slimmer than the tomb Clara had read. Its cover was TARDIS blue and the title was embossed across it in shiny scarlet letters.

"Letter's to a lost child by Amelia Williams" Clara read aloud "Oh Amy I am so sorry" she whispered to the book as if its writer could hear her through it. "We are going to fix this" she promised both herself and her predecessor, the TARDIS flickered her lights gently in agreement.

Clara didn't bother finding herself somewhere more comfortable to sit, she simply settled down on the floor where she had found the book and began to read. Her eyes were beginning to ache from tiredness and the strain of reading all day but she didn't care. If she had to read every book in the TARDIS library to save the Ponds daughter then that was what she was going to do, she was determined to give Amy and Rory the happy ending they deserved.

_Thanks for reading, let me know what you think_

_Millie xXx_


End file.
